How to Dirty Talk: Tips and Examples for Every Comfort Level

Choose a Girl

If that’s the case, he suggests, you could “bring up dirty talk before or after a sexual encounter, so that a sense of arousal is still felt” by your partner. “The right time to start talking dirty is after you’ve actually had a conversation about it,” says sexuality educator Ashley Manta. It’s easy to think that dirty talk is all vulgarities, but it can be far from that—the “dirt” is in the details. Begin by describing how your partner makes you feel—just verbalizing the fact that they’re turning you on is a great start. Or try asking them what they’d like you to do to them or describe what you’d like them to do to you.

If you say something that doesn’t go over well, talk about it later.

• Then, those feelings will carry over into your sex life.
• A great time to do this can be after sex when you’re relaxed and enjoying some pillow talk.
• In addition to verbal cues, she also highly recommends that people be on the lookout for non-verbal cues too, as these can be vital to gauge the comfort levels of someone.

Whether you’re role-playing or just adding color commentary to your sex life, dirty talk is a kind of performance. Even a master of analingus can get tongue-tied when trying to emulate the lines of his favorite porn star. Dirty talk is part of the fantasy of sex, and fantasy doesn’t always translate perfectly to reality.

Overcoming Challenges and Awkward Moments

Just like allowing the physical parts of sex to progress slowly, you probably don’t want to go zero to 100 with your dirty talk either. Instead, let it support everything else that’s happening in the bedroom. In other words, don’t feel the need to tell your partner something ~spicy~ while going at it if it doesn’t feel natural to you in the heat of the moment.

After sex

The next time you want to make her yours in the bedroom, try a few of these. If you’re not together, take the opportunity to text her something very dirty. Not only will you make her feel horny while away from you, it’ll also increase the anticipation for a great time later. To take things to the next level, individuals could also experiment with power dynamic play.

These factors are individualist talk and mutualistic talk. Individual talk is a higher order of erotic talk themes that correlate more so to individual satisfaction, while mutualistic talk correlates more so to mutual satisfaction, namely a sexual partner’s satisfaction. One way to engage in foreplay dirty talk is to play “Choose Your Adventure.” This is when you get to ask questions! Ask your spouse what they would like or what they would be open to. Start with a scenario and ask them what they would do next. Knowing how to talk dirty during sex isn’t easy, but with this guide and a little practice, anyone can become a pro.

But in the context of the bedroom, words that would otherwise feel infantilizing or degrading can feel gender-affirming or deliciously forbidden. Likewise, it’d be pretty weird to call anyone your master, mistress, or goddess outside the bedroom. But in the bedroom, it can imbue you or your partner with a sense of power and confidence that’s just plain hot. A lot of the times, you might find yourself enjoying being called things by your lover that you wouldn’t like in any other context. But it’s especially true when you’re establishing this more advanced style by adding layers of identity, specificity, and storytelling.

You may then come up with your own naughty phrases. This will make your sex more enjoyable, but also build up sexual tension in the form of erotic foreplay so that he is thinking about having sex with you even when he’s not actively engaged in the act. Need inspiration for dirty phrases and sexting for your long-distance relationship? Keep scrolling for 24 examples of how to talk dirty with your partner. Two sexy ways of talking dirty to your partner are asking them questions, or being more provocative with dirty phrases that you know will turn them on, via text or WhatsApp. If your girlfriend or wife tells you that she likes the idea of talking dirty, that’s great news!

This chapter, Chapter 3 is going to focus on the different dirty things you can say to your man depending on the situation. We also discussed some of the ground rules to make sure you get the most out of talking dirty to your man, so that you don’t accidentally freak him out when you do it and that you talk dirty with confidence. If you want to brush up on these rules and guidelines, then click here to go back to Chapter 1.

So how do you strike a balance between PornHub and theater-kid energy? If taking it to level 11 with the role play is your speed, go for it. If you prefer the coy whispers and delicate innuendo of a Regency-era drama, be my guest. Just make sure that whatever you’re doing, your partner(s) are on board. Here are some helpful tips—with crowdsourced anecdotes from myself and friends—to make sure your “dirty talk” doesn’t leave someone with a foot in their mouth (unless that’s the goal).

• Horn suggests starting with discovering your own personal sexual persona or personas.
• An “mmm,” “oh baby,” or similar moan-inspired sound will encourage your partner to continue what they’re saying or doing.
• They might not have the language to tell you why it bothered them in the moment, but if you get the sense that you pushed things too far, definitely talk about it later.
• Your partner doesn’t want to hear you reading from a sexy script — they want to hear what you’re loving and why.

Dirty talk can also be seen as a way to explore and express one’s sexuality and identity, which can have positive effects on self-confidence and self-esteem. It requires open communication and negotiation between partners, which can help improve these skills and carry over into other areas of the relationship. On a day-to-day basis, for example, no woman wants to be called a slut, bitch, little girl, or slave.